News at a Glance

By Maegan Clearwood
News Editor

1. According to Tri-City Herald, a potato advocate from Washington state is starting to regret his two-month-long potato diet. Chris Voigt set out a month ago to prove how healthy and versatile the oft-criticized vegetable is. He has finally admitted, however, that there are only so many potato recipes (and that’s including ice cream).

2. Thanks to Kimberly Clark’s great new idea, Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper will be sold in stores starting on Nov. 1. Clark found a way to get toilet paper to stick together until the last few sheets. This invention should help eliminate the 17 billion toilet paper rolls that are tossed each year, not to mention the innumerable clogged toilets.

3. The famed psychic octopus Paul, who predicted Germany’s soccer match results during this summer’s World Cup, died at the ripe old age of two. He chose the winning team for each match based by selecting one of two food bowls, each of which sported a different country’s flag. He appears to have died in his sleep of natural causes.

4. The deadline has passed for Washington College students to compete in the Ugly Dance World Cup this year. A group of German teenagers took the prize this past weekend. The competition was tough; judging was based on “outstanding ugliness, creativity, singularity/unseen moves and fun factor.”

5. Snuggies are not only famous for their comfy, high-fashion style; they’ve become sex icons. Two friends are turning their “Snuggie Sutra” website into what looks like it will be the perfect secret Santa present. The book version of “Snuggie Sutra” depicts different positions that couples can use with their Snuggies. Don’t worry though; there are step-by-step instructions and illustrations included.

6.A Californian woman may have been driving around with a dead body in the front seat of her 1997 Mercury Marquis for anywhere from three to 10 months. The woman claims to have befriended a homeless woman some time ago. She let the homeless woman sleep inside the car, and then kept the body after her new friend died. Police found the body hidden under a pile of clothes, along with a box of baking soda to deodorize the car. So far, the woman has not been arrested.

7. Just in time for Halloween, New Yorkers had quite a scare during their morning commute this Tuesday. Twenty-four “zombies,” complete with fake blood and costumes, marched around Madison Square Garden to promote the new TV show, “The Walking Dead.”

8. When 8-year-old Colton Guthrie donated his overgrown pet Tomalina to a Florida aquarium, he was hoping that the docile turtle would make some good friends in its new home. Much to his terrified surprise, right after Tomalia was placed in the exhibit, the resident alligator gobbled him up, despite Guthrie screaming, “Oh no, alligator, let it go!” The alligator had never shown an appetite for the other turtles in the aquarium, and Guthrie is getting some one-on-one time in with the dolphins to make up for the traumatic experience.

9. In a valiant effort to release his dog from the kennel, 73-year-old Oklahomian Edwin Fry sped to the pound on his lawnmower. He broke into the cage using bolt cutters, and tried to escape with his poodle, Buddy Tough. Buddy Tough had been impounded because he was not leashed, although he has an imprisonment record for past offences. The dog was put to sleep while Fry suffered his turn in jail.

10. A young boy from Tennessee was sent to the hospital earlier this month, and his parents are poking fingers at the Steak ‘n Shake Cleveland restaurant. They claim that a server offered their son some of Blair’s Mega Death Sauce (which claims to be “500 times hotter than a jalapeno”) with his chili, which caused him to break into hives. They angered parents are suing the restaurant for “$10,000 in compensation and $50,000 punitive damages.”

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