By Alyssa Velazquez
Elm Staff Writer
Let’s see, what did we learn this year?
Well, we learned that a social networking site has the power to set into motion a people’s revolution, publications deals can be obtained by reality TV one-hit wonders, sometimes a nation bands together in pride over an elimination of terroristic fear, and to never under any circumstances underestimate the power of one little boy whose pop song refrain is “Baby, baby, baby, ooh.”
This past year we, as a nation, have experienced a handful of pivotal turning points in culture, politics, and education; but what of the individual?
Did you learn anything?
Lessons.
From the very beginning we are taught how to walk the walk and talk the talk of our family, friends, and society as a whole. The first time an infant stands up, after their first couple steps, more often than not their legs usually end up crumbling underneath them. Nonetheless, they get right back up again.
Lesson learned.
In school, if you don’t do your homework then you won’t get an A, and if you do your homework you still may not get an A.
Lesson learned.
If you decide to go to the beach this summer with no sunscreen on, you will without a doubt get sunburnt.
Lesson learned.
Yet when it comes to relationships, does this same education system apply? After a breakup, or in a relationship that seems to be going moderately well, should we be taking notes and learning from our failed standardized tests? In relationships: the good, the bad, the happy, and utterly sad is there always a lesson to be learned?
The more I got to thinking, the more I realized how often when dealing with a breakup that females use the terms “you’ll know better next time,” “now you know what your looking for,” “now I will know what I don’t want,” it was a good first experience,” “won’t do that again, ”or the simple: “now I know.”
Now we know what? How to successfully experience heartache.
For those broken record individuals with their “learning slogans,” I believe if relationships were an academic class, “need for improvement” would be written all over their progress reports. For the simple reason that, if after every relationship we continue to hear and say theses phrases, continue to fall into old habits, recycle boyfriends, and never stop looking for lessons; are we ever really learning anything at all?
In an ideal world, where everyone wears rose colored glasses, it would be nice if all these phrases we spew out after a breakup did in fact come true, that we would get it right the next time, and any previous “mistakes” would never be made again.
Still, the fact of the matter is that in reality, even in our everyday lives, we make mistakes in lessons that we have both previously learned and have nothing to do with dating.
We are told to wear coats outside when its cold, in spite of this, many people choose to ignore the fact that it is cold and go about their daily business coat-free. A stove with a lovely dessert may be extremely hot, and even though we run the risk of accidentally get hurt, we throw caution to the wind and end up getting burned. These concepts of learning and discounting go for relationships as well.
Although relationships do not come with a syllabus of required readings, outlined subject topics or a potential grading rubric, the outcome, whether it is good or bad, perhaps even somewhere in-between will always shape you as a person.
We, as women just have to remind ourselves to take a break every once in a while from all the studying that we tend do within our romantic affairs, which is a lesson in itself.
May 6, 2011
Volume LXXXI Issue 25