By Sarah Masker
Elm Staff Writer
1.) Even Santa Claus doesn’t have job security in this economy. New York’s Suffolk County recently fired Santa Claus, aka David McKell, an 83-year-old World War II veteran and former homicide detective, in an effort to save some money. Steve Levy, the Suffolk County Executive, suggested that instead of taking $660 from the county’s $2.7 billion budget, citizens find an alternative way to fund Santa’s cheer. He said, “Let either the private sector come forward with a donation, or, better yet, let’s tap the volunteers in the community.” What a Grinch. Msnbc.com
2.) A Portland woman has proven once and for all that anyone can do anything, just as long as no laws are broken. Jasha Lottin and her boyfriend recently accepted responsibility of a 32-year-old horse, which was reportedly in declining health. The two them shot the horse and gutted it before Lottin stripped and climbed inside the body. The couple then took some pictures with the body. A North Carolina man stumbled upon the photos on the Internet and informed authorities, but investigators decided that the couple had not broken any laws. Apparently, that makes this okay. Msnbc.com
3.) Maybe it’s too naïve to assume churchgoers won’t be carrying concealed weapons. Roman Catholic bishops in Wisconsin, however, are playing on the safe side after a new law was passed that permits state residents to carry concealed weapons. The bishops are asking their parishioners not carry any weapons into church. Milwaukee Archbishop Jerome Listecki and four other bishops stated, “We ask that all people seriously consider not carrying weapons into church buildings as a sign of reverence for these sacred places.” Msnbc.com
4.) Hemingway would have liked this. 85-year-old Connie Laurie pulled in an 850-pound marlin off the coast of northern Australia, which equates to 10 pounds of fish for every year of her life. After hooking the fish, quite the battle ensued. Laurie said, “Only twice did I get lifted out of the seat when it made a run, but I was able to get it right up to the back of the boat before we released it….I certainly didn’t feel 85 when I was bringing it in.” Huffingtonpost.com
5.) Prison inmates at Rikers Island might not be getting visits from the dogs they left at home, but they will be seeing a lot of $6,000 dogs that are trained to find cell phones. The dogs have been trained to follow the scent of lithium batteries to locate cell phones and mobile accessories, like chargers and earpieces. Jail officers monitor all land-line calls, yet are unable to track calls they don’t know are happening from within the inmates’ prison cells. These calls are often drug-related, and a Department of Corrections spokeswoman says cell phones within the prison pose “a serious risk to staff and inmates.” Fido to the rescue! Msnbc.com
6.) Kids hate bathtime, but being trapped in a washing machine is probably as bad as it gets. Somehow, a 5-year-old girl ended up inside a washing machine at a laundromat in Washington and became trapped; it’s unclear whether she climbed in or was put in the machine. This particular machine was “out of order.” When the machine turned on, the girl’s mom ran to the car for a wrench to shatter the washer’s window. The spin cycle was a little too rough, as the girl left the machine with a 10-inch gash on her back that required a visit to the hospital. Huffingtonpost.com
7.) Sure, TV might be to blame for negatively influencing today’s youth, but it is also capable of teaching. When firefighter Jamie Giese carried an unconscious Labrador retriever out of a burning house, he had none of the necessary medical equipment on hand to revive the dog; it was time for mouth-to-snout. Giese said, “I have never been trained in that. I’ve seen it on TV and pictures in the newspapers and things like that. We thought (the dog) was dead. We could tell he was trying to breathe, and our training for humans is airway, breathing, circulation. We had no tools handy, so it was mouth-to-snout.” 7-year-old Koda survived the ordeal and is one lucky dog. Msnbc.com
8.) Who says good deeds aren’t rewarded? When Victor Giesbrecht of Wisconsin stopped to help some motorists with a flat tire on Interstate 94, he had no idea that they would save his life mere minutes later. After helping with the tire, Giesbrecht drove away only to have a heart attack a mile or two down the road. His wife had just called 911 when the motorists he had helped pulled up and began CPR. Authorities arrived and Giesbrecht was taken to the hospital, where he stayed until Monday. Good thing he knew how to change a tire. Msnbc.com
9.) Sometimes, when the dining hall runs out of milk at 9 in the morning, that soy milk in the vegan fridge looks awfully tempting. A 34-year-old Florida prisoner, Eric Harris, is of a different opinion. He claims that the soy foods served by the prison “have caused painful gastrointestinal cramping.” The Weston A. Price Foundation claims that 500 inmates have complained about the food since 2009, which was when Florida prison systems began using soy in order to cut costs. Want to eat whatever you want? Here’s a solution: don’t commit a crime and get sent to jail. Huffingtonpost.com
10.) When is threatening to blow up planes ever a good idea? Soraya Evette Billinge was so fed up with her husband’s late work schedule that she called the Lee County Port Authority Police to talk about it. When the police wouldn’t help her with her husband’s schedule, she responded, “Okay I blow up, I blow up ten planes,” and then immediately hung up. She later denied making the bomb threat. Who wouldn’t? Msnbc.com