By Natty Bo
Superhero Beat
Washington College President Mitchell Reiss casually let it slip that he is Batman at the President’s Open Forum last week. The announcement has been met with general acceptance from the overall campus community, most of whom say they “saw it coming.”
“I was expecting something like this,” said junior Tex Tucier. “I mean, come on, the man is besties with Colin Powell for goodness sake. He negotiates with evil. It was obvious something was going on.”
Secretary to the President Laney Soulman confessed she’s long suspected her boss’ alter ego.
“Ever since I found grey tights in his closet. The man doesn’t even dress up for Halloween. Then there was the wet suit. He drives a Prius though, not a Batmobile, so that tripped me up for a while,” she said.
Students, however, were never fooled.
“Yeah, I think most of us knew something was going on,” said freshman Linda Loveless. “He was either that or the Phantom of the Opera. Have you seen the man’s turning radius? All he needs is the cape.”
Reiss assured us the cape has been ordered and will arrive on campus shortly.
In other news, soon after Reiss’ announcement, Andrew Antonio posted on Twitter that he is, indeed, Robin.
“‘Been a lotta rumors flyin’ around so I thought you should hear from me: yeah, I’m Robin.’ #kindaobvious #fightcrimelikeitsmyjob,” wrote the outgoing SGA president.
“I’m his son, come on, who else would it be?” he said in a face-to-face interview the next day.
No word yet on just what crimes the caped crusader and his trusty sidekick have been fighting. Reiss assured The Elm that it was not for lack of trying.
“It’s a slow town,” the president said. “Sometimes Andrew and I will just sit outside of Sam and watch people go by, literally praying something will happen so we can finally put our Spandex to good use, swoop in, and save the day. Nada. Not even so much as an illegal U-Turn. It’s disappointing.”
Fingers crossed for a crime spree though, so we can see the terrific twosome in action.