News at a Glance

By Sarah Masker
Elm staff Writer

1.) Peter Wiemer of Chautauqua Lake, N.Y., held a press release demanding that the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation put Bigfoot on the Protected Species list. Wiemer argues that since there is no designated hunting season for sasquatches, they are therefore a protected species. DEC spokesperson Mark Kandel said, “New York State has taken no action with regard to listing or protecting Bigfoot.” He then went on to say, “We are confident that the current laws and regulations afford adequate protection for Bigfoot if one were to be found in New York.” This is good news for the sasquatches, who are currently allowed to be gunned down without consequence in Texas. Huffingtonpost.com

2.) Everyone keeps talking about job shortages, but here is a fun one: dress up in an owl costume and “watch over” a woman as she sleeps. An ad on Gumtree.com.au offered between $35-$40 an hour for a costumed guardian. The ad, posted by “Susan,” read, “I have always found great comfort in the idea that owls are the natural lookouts of our world and so it would really help.” The ad even promises “one muesli bar” each shift in case the attendant starts to feel hungry. Although the ad states, “this is not a joke,” 20-year-old University of Sydney student Meredith Eriksson recently admitted it was a joke, and says she´s surprised by how many replies she received. One email read, “Please Susan, you are my only road to happiness. My owl costume is clean and I am ready to watch over you.” Creeper alert. Huffingtonpost.com

3.) British police apologized for using a stun gun on a blind man after officers mistook his white cane for a samurai sword. Wait, what? Officers responded to “a number of reports that a man was walking through Chorley armed with a samurai sword” and confronted Colin Farmer, a 61-year-old man on his way to meet friends. When Farmer did not respond to their calls to stop, an officer delivered a 50,000-volt shock with his Taser. When it became apparent that Farmer was not the man they were looking for, Farmer was taken to the hospital for treatment. That must be some cane he has if it was mistaken for a sword. Msnbc.com

4.) In 2014, Scottish voters will get to decide if they still want to be a part of the United Kingdom. That´s right, folks, Scotland could be leaving the U.K. The referendum will be a single yes/no question, different from other ballots because it won´t offer an alternative of simply granting the Scottish parliament and government more autonomy and power while remaining a part of the U.K. Alex Salmond, the first minister of Scotland, says that the agreement marks a “significant step in Scotland´s home rule journey.” Let´s see what happens in 2014. Usatoday.com

5.) Life is full of surprises, huh? The thief that stole Phil Rakoci´s van probably wasn´t prepared for the African tortoise, Burmese python, rattlesnake, five other snakes, three scorpions, five lizards, two turtles, gecko, and tarantula chilling in the back. “Wildman Phil” makes a living by travelling to schools and parties, educating kids on the reptiles and animals. When he stopped at a store to get supplies, he left the van running to keep the reptiles warm; he came out twenty minutes later to find the van missing. Rakoci said, “I just want to get the animals back and have them live through this.” The thief probably just wants to live through it, too. Msnbc.com

6.) A flier posted in a co-ed freshmen dorm at Miami University listed the “Top Ten Ways to Get Away With Rape.” University officials called a mandatory meeting for all male students living in the building where the flier was posted, and police presence in the dorm has been increased. Some students, however, criticized Miami´s response, saying it wasn´t enough for a campus where at least 27 sexual assaults were reported since 2009. Junior Kate Van Fossen, vice president of Women Against Violence and Sexual Assault, said, “It could have been a joke, but the fact of the matter is that those thoughts are crossing someone´s mind. There are girls living in a hall where someone came up with that. It´s just disturbing.” Usatoday.com