By Caitlin Steele
Elm Staff Writer
1) Pennsylvania’s most famous groundhog almost found himself in the midst of a lawsuit due to his faulty weather forecast. Punxsutawney Phil had charges of fraud dropped by Ohio prosecutor Mike Gmoser. After the snowfall welcoming spring, Gmoser filled a complaint against the groundhog for his faulty prediction of an early spring. The president of Punxsutawney Groundhog Club’s Inner Circle (whoa what a club name!), Bill Deeley, took the blame for the false call. He claimed that Phil didn’t make the wrong call and it was actually his fault since he misinterpreted Phil’s “groundhog-ese.” I’m sure prosecutors are disappointed they won’t be able to interpret Phil’s “groundhog-ese” for themselves in court, but we can still picture how cute Phil would be on the witness stand. (Huffington Post)
2) Buying a used car is pretty simple: you meet the person trying to sell the car, check out the car and try to work out a deal, maybe even offer head if you’re Crystal Frantzen of Tennessee. The 28-year-old performed oral sex on the 58-year-old owner of the Cadillac she was trying to buy, Gary Tipton. The deal-sweetening act was allegedly performed inside the Cadillac in a public gas station parking lot, which makes the whole situation even classier. Frantzen was charged with prostitution and Tipton was charged with drug procession and patronizing a prostitute. (Huffington Post)
3) If there’s one thing that snotty parents can’t stand it is their teenagers exploring their sexuality or anything that promotes the idea of intimate relationships sans clothing. Victoria’s Secret is giving some parents quite a fit with their latest “Pink” ad campaign targeted toward younger women or girls, as the models appear to be. The underwear line features thongs, lace and quotes such as “dare,” “wild,” and “call me.” This would outrage me too, I mean, who calls people nowadays anyway? (CNN)
4) “You’ve heard of crop circles but have you heard of snow circles?” is a cheesy lede going around all weird/odd news sites but it covers this event the best. Odd, perfectly formed circles were seen in the snow on the surface of a pond belonging to Peggy Gervase of New York. She posted pictures of her pond circles to Facebook for explanations and got things such as aliens, meteorites, and farting ducks and fish. Gervase didn’t take the alien thing to heart even though she thought the circles were eerie and cool. It’s likely that the circles were caused by methane from plants or spring water being fed into the pond. Boring, that’s nowhere near exciting as farting ducks. (Yahoo! News)