By Jackie Torkelson and Mike Liberto
Elm Staff Writer and Distributions Manager
Hopefully your Birthday Ball was a magical success. But just in case it wasn’t, Jackie and Mike have all the tips you need on mending those relationship rifts.
Jackie says… Birthday Ball is fun for all, but it can sometimes be a little too much fun. Too much fun at Birthday Ball can mean a number of things: bodily injury, massive hangovers, and possibly the worst of all, mistaken hookups. Large amounts of alcohol and club dancing can lead to less than desirable decisions. This can be especially true in the realm of rendezvous. Over the past three years, you wouldn’t believe how many stories I have heard that started with “I was really drunk at Birthday Ball” and ended with “ I can’t believe I did that.” Unfortunately, these regrettable occurrences happen all too often, but what do you do when this happens to you? How do you bounce back from a Birthday Ball mistake?
First of all, don’t beat yourself up over what happened, whatever it may have been. Whether it was a drunken hookup, a plastered fight with a friend, or an entirely too provocative dance session you wish you could take back, you are not the first (and certainly not the last) to have fallen prey to less-than-savory decisions at Birthday Ball. Don’t worry too much, because honestly no matter what “bad” thing you did, someone else most likely topped you. Also with the blood alcohol concentration levels in the building, a lot of people probably won’t even remember what you did.
For the people that do remember, you will unfortunately be faced with seeing those people again. The downside of our nice, small community campus is that you are guaranteed to see the people you most want to avoid at some point. Whenever that moment comes, try to be as relaxed as possible. Obviously it isn’t always easy, but it’s better to be chill than to make the situation more awkward than it has to be. Depending on the person (and your own personality), you may even try cracking a joke about the situation to ease any tension. “Now that you’ve explored my chamber of secrets, wanna grab lunch?” or something similarly witty will do the trick. With others, it’s better just to never bring up the occurrence and move on like nothing embarrassing or awkward ever even happened.
Even if people do remember whatever unfortunate incident occurred involving you and Birthday Ball, keep in mind that people will either soon forget it or it will be a funny story you can look back on in the future. My mishaps from freshman year Birthday Ball always bring a ton of laughs to my friends and even to me, now that I’m over the initial embarrassment. Find a bright side to all of your awkward experiences as a young adult; you’ll look back on them later as fond memories. Make the most of the few years you have at this fantastic place, and embrace the good and the bad times. The lessons you learn from both will make you a stronger and wiser person who knows how to deal with challenging situations.
Mike says… Birthday Ball came and went, as they say, like a wrecking ball. Amidst the lost jewelry, broken heels, and discarded ties lay a few broken relationships. While many people will never have to deal with this, the truth of the matter is that for some people, Birthday Ball can quickly become a night of mistakes and regrets. Where last week’s article was for all the single ladies and gents out there, this week’s is for all the people who are or were in a relationship and faced a couple of missteps during George’s shindig.
We all know that no relationship is perfect (and if you don’t know this, you will learn), but when alcohol is introduced, the problems within a relationship and the insecurities of the people in that relationship are exposed all the more. If you are or were in a long-distance relationship (much like yours truly used to be), you know the stress of not seeing your partner for long stretches of time. But there’s also a good shot that you know the stress of not knowing the friends they’ve made at their school as well as they do. And guess what? That is a two-way street. There will be plenty of people that you see at Birthday Ball who your significant other will have never met or rarely heard of, and this is where jealousy starts to rear its ugly head. If you and your date are not jealous people, all the better for you. But for many people, the first relationship misstep they’ll experience at Birthday Ball is jealousy.
Jealousy can also show up if your significant other goes to WC, in a number of circumstances. If you spend most of your time before or at the Ball with people your date doesn’t know or like, thoughts will begin to creep in about why you are with those other people and not with them. If a friend of the opposite sex pulls you in and starts dancing with you, will your date get upset? If the same happens to them, how will you react? The easiest way to prevent any problems from developing is to be proactive and talk about your expectations and desires before the Ball. As we know, it is too late for that now, so the best way to sort out any hurt feelings from the night is to just sit down like adults and talk it out. Do not try to buy back their love with flowers and chocolates (though that might help), but do have a conversation. Things might get messy, but showing your significant other that you love them and are there for them in spite of whatever happened at Birthday Ball will go a long way in repairing your relationship. Sometimes just making an effort to patch things up will show the maturity that your partner needs to see.
There will always be a few couples that go through problems before, during, and after Birthday Ball, but not everything that is broken is unfixable. Emotions are heightened when alcohol is introduced, but having a sober conversation after the dust has settled is oftentimes just enough to keep things going. Remember to be honest with yourself and your partner about what happened and why it happened. Only honesty and time can mend a broken relationship. Take it slow and keep it real.