By AmIRite?
Government Spy
Our world is spinning out of control as changing political climates and monumental decisions are made that affect us all. We need politicians who are competent and well spoken. But people often forget what truly wins elections—a booty that won’t quit. This list reveals who has the best butt of all of the world powers, ultimately solidifying their position of power on the world stage.
Rounding out the group in the fifth spot is Angela Merkel. Merkel made history by cementing women’s place in the German government. She has been involved in German politics for a few decades, so the transformation of her butt is well documented. She is a politician of the people, as you can tell from the two members of her entourage trying to sneak in a squeeze— they just can’t help it.
Number four on our list is her Highness, Queen Elizabeth II. The royal hienie has impressed the masses since her coronation in 1953. Times have changed, but those tea biscuits have stayed fresh and delicious through it all. The queen’s birthday is celebrated multiple times a year in the British Empire as there is indubitably enough cake to go around.
A London based artist unveiled a portrait of the Queen on a bar room door in North London in 2015, according to ETCanada. The portrait shows off the Queen’s bare bottom in full royal glory as it was in 1953 at her coronation. The Palace has not commented on the piece of work.
Number three would have been Vladimir Putin. Unfortunately with growing tensions and the possibility of an FBI investigation into this article, the honor will be bestowed upon Kim Jong Un, someone far less
threatening. Putin can punch a bear and rig an election; Kim doesn’t have that much reach. Yes, that was a height joke.
Photographing the supreme leader of North Korea is a punishable offense, so there aren’t as many great tush takes as there should be. In the selected image, Kim lets us know that he doesn’t disappoint by taking a minute to look back at himself. After a few more workouts in the gym, like we saw in “The Interview,” his glorious glutes will be out there for all of North Korea to see. Kim believes that the US is envious of him, and we are, to a point—That is, when we don’t get to see real, up close imagery of his derrière.
Runner-up for best bum is Barack Obama. I’m not over the fact that this donkey booty no longer has a seat at the table in Washington. How could I get over it? I mean, look at that. What president have you seen who can rock a mom jean, especially when he is America’s dad? The selected image shows the former president thanking troops for their service, but they should really be thanking him for serving up such a scrumptious dish.
The crown for best butt must be awarded to our one true Canadian heartthrob, Justin Trudeau. His ability to speak French made it impossible for anyone else to snatch the title. In 2015, buttlovers around the world rejoiced when the young politician rose through the ranks to Prime Minister of Canada. His tireless humanitarian work and push toward equality amongst people of different genders and racial groups has people realizing he isn’t just a fantastic fanny. Well, the American use of the world fanny, at least. The PM is so humble
with that bubble butt that he still holds meetings in gymnasiums. He is a politician I can get behind, especially after seeing his behind.