Reviewing the Chester 5 Theatre: Home of the Cheapest Tickets to Paradise

By Cinema Troll
Morning Wood Staff Writer

Just outside downtown Chestertown resides the infamous Chester 5 Theatre, one of two theaters owned by the P and G chain, a major presence in the Northern Virginia and Maryland area.
The building maintains an ominous presence over the town with its single story and five screens. In order to keep up with the times, the Chester 5 updates its selection of movies every week, making sure that only the newest and greatest films are showing in their theaters. While the Chester 5 succeeds in sticking it to the bigger brand theater chains, it does so in an unusual manner.

Chester 5
The luxurious Chester 5, located only one mile from WC.

The Chester 5 pampers its patrons in several ways. First, the sizeable screens in each theater are placed so that they are directly in front of half of the seats, ensuring a pleasurable viewing experience for everyone. Select seats squeak with the slightest movements, reminding lucky patrons of their every uncomfortable shift. The floors are sticky enough to keep every member of the audience rooted to the ground during even the most intense action scenes. Occasionally the lights are left on so everyone can safely see and enjoy their drinks and snacks, and the doors are left open so the audience can experience the sounds of all the movies at the same time. The Chester 5 is truly the pinnacle of luxury.
In one specific instance, the midnight premier of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” the Chester 5 absolutely excelled in every aspect. In certain sections of the film, the employees of the theater would take over with a flashlight and hand puppets making their own shadow projections on the screen. In some cases, these scenes were even better than those of the released film. During the space battles, the same employees would run up and down the aisles with toy versions of the ships making sound effects with their mouths. Only at the Chester 5 can an audience be graced with such a stunning performance.
On top of all of this, the Chester 5 boasts several other perks, principally the establishment’s popcorn. Famous throughout the entire Eastern Shore, the popcorn is always served with a smile and comes with a multitude of options fine-tuned to every preference: butter or no butter.
An exquisite rewards program is also offered by the theater. Exclusive to Chester 5 is the deluxe Movie Passport, where upon purchasing five tickets, a free ticket is awarded. This entices audience members to return time after time to revel in the greatness of the Chester 5. No other theater offers this and it really is a treat.
The Chester 5 theatre somehow maintains unequaled quality even with the relatively cheap ticket prices, an absolute wonder of the modern world. The Chester 5 is the best value in town. I would personally choose to see a movie there above any other theater in town. Every visit is its own special experience made possible by the talented and friendly staff. The Chester 5 should be the one and only location for Washington College students and the official theater of Chestertown. Score: A+

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