The Gander Tells the Story of His Worst Date Ever

By Dan Teano
Lifestyle Editor

This date was predestined to be the worst we’ve ever been on. For one, we didn’t know each other, and two, our moms coerced us into meeting each other. Over email, Joy and Lorraine dutifully arranged the time, date, and restaurant their children would meet: 12:30 p.m. at Han Dynasty, an upscale Asian-American fusion restaurant in University City, Philadelphia.

At 12p.m., I promptly left the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia where I was a clinical researcher for the summer months. Walking anxiously towards the restaurant, very basic, yet serious questions jumped around my mind: “How are we supposed to find each other—heck, are either one of us even looking for someone to date?” Soon enough, both questions would be answered.

I walked into the restaurant and the entire place was quiet and empty. The hostess greets me and asks if I made a reservation. I say, “yes,” but I really wanted to say, “Does it matter?”

After leading me to a two-top, the waiting game begins. 12:30 p.m. brings in a rush of people, none of which I find age-appropriate or date-worthy.

At 1:00 p.m., she walks in. She’s tall and slim, and her gold pendant necklace adds a nice contrast to her white, spaghetti-strapped sundress. When our eyes meet, she makes her way over, and I say, “Hi,” (but I really wanted to say, “You’re late”). I knew she was my blind date because she looked Filipino like me—shoot, I should’ve told my mom I don’t really have the hots for Filipino women.

“So where do you work?” she asks. We didn’t even order our food yet and we already exhausted most first-order questions.

“It’s a mouthful,” I warned her. “I work at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s Colket Translational Research Building.”

“No way,” she said. “My boyfriend works there, too.”

It turns out she was half an hour late because she was waiting for her boyfriend to show her where the restaurant was.

“Wait, so he just walked you over here and then left?” I ask.

“No, he’s sitting over there,” she says as she points and waves to an all-too-familiar face sitting alone in the corner.

This was the worst date ever because neither of us wanted to be there. The reason her mom forced her to meet me was because she adamantly disapproved of her current boyfriend (even though he was a really nice guy).

It was awkward, but at least it wasn’t spiteful. Still, though, it was the worst date ever—partly because she was taken, but mostly because I ended up third wheeling.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *