By Eugenia Booker
Lotion Expert
The Washington College community has been excited and slightly disturbed by a new discovery in the Miller Library archives.
On Wednesday, March 27, three anthropology students uncovered a trove of forgotten pieces in the Miller Library archives during their search for Senior Capstone Experience sources. Amongst them was the last third of Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle,” an ominous reminder that IHOP changed its name to IHOB, and a set of three books all bound in what appears to be human skin. Of the discovered prose, students reported being most surprised by the skin-bound books.
“They are cool, but I have no idea how to cite them,” one anthropology student said. “There’s no copyright information and they’re not on EasyBib.”
While they are not usable as sources, the group was excited about their discovery. Two main questions circulate the group: when were these books bound, and when did they come into WC’s ownership?
The unwrinkled, unblemished binding of the books provide no insight as to their age. Likewise, their missing call numbers mean they are not recorded in the Miller Library’s ownership. The only information on that question was that the librarians are “pretty sure” they were not there before.
This has not stunted the students’ enthusiasm. The bounding is undoubtedly unique, although alarming to some. The group of students who found it, however, is passionately interested in their covers.
“Leather-bound books are pretty normal,” said junior Twiggy Skinflint. “But I’ve never seen human skin. It’s not dried out either. The covers are super soft. They must have had a better skin routine than half of campus.”
According to the group of students, the books’ favorite lotion appears to be Bath and Body Works’ Warm Vanilla Sugar. A second anthropology student, sophomore Anathema Jonks sat beside one book, massaging lotion into its binding. It radiated contentment.
“It’s nice that they react,” Jonks said. “It helps show when they’re happy. Like one librarian tried using Cucumber Melon lotion once. When the book started glowing red, shrieking with the voice of a thousand raging demons, and banished the librarian into the Ninth Dimension, it was a pretty good indication that it didn’t like that kind.”
When asked about the contents of the books, Jonks and Skinflint smiled. The books hummed with dark energy, vibrating in the laps of their holders.
“This one’s a Nancy Drew-Hardy Boys crossover,” said the third student with the final book.
The other two students returned to this mortal plane momentarily. No other mortal has viewed the contents of the books, including the Nancy Drew-Hardy Boys crossover. The staff of the Miller Library were approached for a comment but were preoccupied by being trapped in a vortex of madness originating from the “Nancy Drew”-“Hardy Boys” book.
The question “whose skin covers the book?” is the mystery everyone is really trying to solve.