How to be the best roommate ever in time for next semester

By Regina Phalange

People Person

It is that time of year again: the deadline to fill out housing application forms to determine living arrangements is March 31, and students are deciding what kind of roommate to live with next year. 

Here are some tips and tricks that will force you and your roommate to become best friends in no time. 

Eject quirkiness into everything that you do

Surprise your roommate with a 3 a.m. squirt gun fight while they are sleeping, take up a hobby like melting stinky cheese, or throw a rom com watch party to remind them of their exes. 

“I really enjoy taking time out of my day to do something completely random that shocks my roommate into acknowledging me, it really gets a conversation flowing,” sophomore Helen Hywader said. 

Ejecting quirkiness into your day-to-day life will give your roommate something to talk about. These quirky behaviors can become activities that you do together, or you can make a competition out of surprising each other. 

Make your life musical.

What better time than the present to pick up an instrument in close quarters with your new bestie. Pick something energizing like the trumpet, piccolo or kazoo — the more obnoxious the better. 

Get your money’s worth by playing ridiculously complicated music repeatedly — bonus points if you play at an inappropriate time of day.

“There’s no harm in playing an instrument you know nothing about with absolutely no practice or guidance at two or three in the morning,” Barry D. Hatchet from Pitchy Pianist said. “It’s a treat to the whole building.” 

Expand your love life 

Your roomie should want you to be happy, right? Don’t wait and ask for permission to let your significant other stay the night, in fact, just let them move in. Expand this thought process to inviting friends over, or even an absolute stranger with no affiliation to the College. 

“I invite people over all the time. My roommate seems to enjoy it because she’s always asking when I’m going to stop” Hywader said. 

Inviting people over proves to your roommate that you have friends, and you’re personable. 

Take a break from cleaning your space 

Life in the COVID-19 pandemic is exhausting, so something must give. In between learning a new instrument and hosting Dubliner cheddar-filled rom-com watch parties who has time to clean a whole dorm room? Take a break from the upkeep and overall cleanliness of your shared space. Dirty dishes? Forget about them. Piles of laundry? It can wait until the end of the semester.

“This is a time for living, not cleaning. If pigs slosh around in mud, what’s stopping us?” Roomie Roomerson, author of the infamous book “The Art of Congested Cohabitation,” said. “Lack of cleanliness creates a bonding moment for everyone involved and is an opportunity to make new friends.

When it’s finally time to clean, it’s going to take a whole hazmat team to do the job,” they said. 

Be as chatty as possible

If you are someone who loves the art of conversation, this one is for you. Establishing a relationship with your roommate can be difficult, so it is best to dive right in headfirst. 

According to The Irate Roommate, be sure to follow this simple three-step plan that is “bound to end in a conversation with your RA.” 

Drum up some conversation during times where they are most focused: in class, on a Zoom meeting, or during their daily meditation. 

After trying this for a few days, work up to ridiculously over sharing the mundane things that happened to you that day. You will be asking invasive questions about embarrassing childhood moments in no time. 

Finally, forming a relationship with anyone can be difficult so remember the cardinal rule: under no circumstance should you be true to yourself. Combine any of these tips and tricks and you will be in cahoots with your roommate. 

If anything, you will be the most memorable part of their college experience.

Featured Photo caption: One tip for being the best roommate ever is to be sure to leave all your possessions lying around the dorm room in one big and messy pile. Photo by Single Ply Toilet Paper.

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