By Abraham LINKoln
Tattoo Artist to the Founding Fathers
Patriotism comes in many forms, from grilling on the fourth of July to having an American flag stuck to the back of your truck — but these are merely temporary displays of patriotism. If you want to go the extra mile, then you should seriously consider using the canvas of your flesh to display your patriotism.
Now, you might be wondering what scene best exemplifies America while also being suitable for a tattoo. Luckily, I have the answer. In my opinion, there is nothing more patriotic than getting the visage of our first and arguably greatest president tattooed onto your skin.
Listed below are some ideas that you can use when heading to your local tattoo parlor.
If you take a look in your wallet, there is a good chance that you might see the face of our first president staring back at you, not quite smiling but not frowning either.
George Washington’s face has been affixed to our one-dollar bill since 1869, and while the design around ol’ George has changed significantly since that time, the portrait used hasn’t changed much at all.
This might be the best tattoo for you if you’ve already collected several others, as it won’t take much space to get Washington plastered onto your arm or leg, and it might serve to compliment any other tattoos you’ve gotten.
This idea is similar to the previous one, where you just copy what our monetary system has decided to use when depicting our first president, except you use the side facing image present on our twenty-five-cent coin instead of the one on the dollar.
The design is relatively simple and won’t take up that much space. This allows to get several of them all over your body to show that you’re absolutely nutty for George.
Cherry Tree + Axe
This one is more of a deep cut for anyone who has studied the life of our first president in depth, or at least is aware of the story regarding our first president’s honesty. When George was a young man, he chopped down his father’s cherry tree. When asked about it, he answered honestly that it was his fault, stating that he could not tell a lie.
What possessed him to chop down a perfectly good cherry tree is beyond the reckoning of most historians. It would have taken at least a modicum of effort for him to do so, meaning he would have had time to think about what he was doing.
Maybe he just really didn’t like cherries.
As for the actual design of the tattoo, there are a few options. You can have the felled cherry tree with an axe lodged firmly in the stump of the tree, the tree still standing but with the axe buried into the trunk, or you could even have the two crossed like a coat of arms. An extra touch would be to have words under the design that quote the president’s famous statement, “I cannot tell a lie,” just to drive it home that little bit further.
Crossing the Delaware
One of George Washington’s more famous exploits during the American Revolutionary War, the crossing of the Delaware River, helped cement Washington’s status as a tactical genius as well as secure the first major victory for his Continental Army since the start of the war.
The famous painting was created to represent the heroic acts carried out at the river crossing, and the option exists for you to either get a portion of the painting tattooed on yourself, or, if you can take the pain, have the entire painting recreated across your back as the ultimate patriot tattoo.
This second option is neither for the faint of heart nor the small of wallet considering the amount of detail present in the original painting, meaning the procedure would take hours and cost a pretty quarter, but it is worth it in my opinion.
Super Mecha Washington
While historical scenes and accurate representations of our first president are great and all, getting Washington tattooed onto your body as a mechanized warrior of America is simply the superior option.
There are many series that have powerful designs you can draw upon for the mech body of our first president, ranging from the towering EVA units from “Neon Genesis Evangelion” to one of the numerous incarnations of the Zords from “Power Rangers,” the only limit is your imagination (and your bank account).
You could even just slap his head onto the body of Optimus Prime and I doubt anyone would think twice about it.
Just make sure he’s a towering engine of destruction ready to crush enemies into powder, and you’ve got yourself one patriotic tattoo.
Photo by Ansell Adams
Featured Photo caption: Students who are passionate about American history, politics, and killer robots with giant lasers for arms and a long, complicated history of civil war and grief can find the perfect beginner tattoo in America’s first president.