By Doorman
Elm Staff Reader
While the students at Washington College were away on spring break from March 12 to March 19, the local cat haven, the Cat Colloquium, was closed under the guise of spring cleaning. However, anonymous sources have reported that these statements issued on the Colloquium’s website were in fact a cover up for a week-long vacation that the resident cats took.
One source said that they saw all thirteen of the residents pile into the back of a minivan on Saturday, March 12 along with an obscene amount of luggage, before driving off to Dulles International Airport. The cats posted multiple social media posts to their Instagram—which have since been deleted—from the airport, many of which were posted with the tag #florida.
It was no surprise then, when later posts featured images of Miami beach. An Uber driver who operates in Miami commented on the atrocious behavior of the residents via email. “Some of the cats simply did not understand the concept of vehicular safety,” the driver wrote. “Two cats, I believe their names were Harriet and Fredrick, would not stop running around the trunk and climbing up the seats. I get excited, too, but safety comes first. I could lose my job.”
There were more social media posts, varying from images of some of the cats under the stands at both WC’s softball and baseball tournaments, to stalking Mickey Mouse around at Walt Disney World. This behavior continued for a week, before a final post from the Orlando International Airport ended the streak of continuous posts and updates.
It seems the shenanigans did not end with the social media presence though. A staff member of the Colloquium, who was reportedly shaken up by the events they witnessed, shared details of the hardships of moving back into 215 High Street.
“The apartment was rented out while the residents were away,” they said. “In retrospect it might not have been the best idea to hold a Chestertown House Dog Convention here.”
Reportedly, the dogs cleared out of the Colloquium on March 16, but three of the dogs refused to leave: a wiener dog, a pomeranian, and a coton de tulear with a purple boa. The three remained stationed there until the cats came back, and even then, refused to leave. What started off in polite discussion quickly devolved into heated arguments, and from there, a roast the likes of which the world has never seen. “There were no physical altercations between the two groups,” the staff said. “No one was injured, or at least physically injured. Everyone’s ego was hurt a little bit, even mine, and I was just a witness.”
The staffer declined to elaborate on the details of the debate, but did leave with the final note that everyone was now safe at home, and continuing on with their regular activities of lounging, playing, and eating.