Glow Stick mandate: WATCH OUT

By Really Really Not the ADA Chair

Big Fan of Glow Sticks

Due to the recent power outages of outdoor lamps near Western Shore, Washington College Administration are now requiring students to carry glow sticks in case of another outage. 

This announcement was sent out via email to the campus community on Saturday, April 1.

The email came from Hike Marvey, evil twin of Provost of the College Dr. Mike Harvey, and it states the following:

“Good afternoon, WC Community. The undisclosed higher ups of WC have met to consider possible outcomes of the power outages with the lamps in Western Shore. Due to the slow response in repairing said issues, brainstorming occurred within this meeting, and we have come to a decision to fix the lighting issues. Instead of fixing the lamps or getting new ones, the responsibility is now on the student body. We are doing this because sometimes we do not feel like fixing the lighting issues right away. Students now will be required to always carry a pack of glowsticks with them. This will aid in future outages, and for the fact that now we do not have to actually solve the issue. If students have an issue with this, idk what to tell you bro. Also, we will not be covering the costs of glowsticks.” 

This new protocol will take effect soon.

Photo cortesy of Glowman

Photo Caption: Glowman visits glowlight in daylight… very scared of nightlight. What if no light????

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