By King Henry
He Who Died Drinking Chocolate Milk
Last week, Washington College Athletics placed Shoremen jousting on a temporary ban from campus following an anonymous complaint about hazing.
According to a report published by Public Safety, all incoming jousters were coerced into receiving tattoos that said “horse brothers 4lyfe.” Additionally, rookie members were intimidated into sending self-tape auditions to Medieval Times; those who mailed in a tape were granted starting spots on the roster.
Jousting team captains Alistair Thorough and Fabian Clyde declined to comment, but the official team Instagram, @washcolljoust, posted a notes app apology on Thursday, March 23 shortly after the news came to light.
“We are deeply sorry for anyone who was offended by these heinous allegations,” @washcolljoust said. “We would never force any member, regardless of grade level, into getting a tattoo from Sellers Ink on 516 Morgnec Road, performed by famous tattoo artist Marc Sleeve, with an appointment time at 6:30 p.m. These accusations are reprehensible. We got knocked down, but we’ll get up again. #horsebrothers4lyfe.”
Following the backlash that their post received, the account followed up with a story post.
“We are willing to defend our position either in court or through a jousting match. Interested parties may call 410-77-HORSE,” @washcolljoust said, with the text overlaid on top of a photo of the team.
While few members were willing to speak to The Morning Wood, freshman Wulfric Stallion claimed that the pressure from the jousting team allowed him to pursue his passions.
“I’ve always wanted to be a knight at The Round Table,” Stallion said. “When I heard that we had to send in audition tapes, I was on it. No one else was as serious about it as I was… I think that whoever reported the team is just jealous that I got the gig and they didn’t.”
Stallion said that he is considering taking a gap year to advance in the knighthood ranks. As of right now, Shoremen jousting is simply his “side gig.”
One man’s mead is another’s poison, however. Junior Millicent Trot told The Morning Wood that the instances of hazing echoed a larger culture of toxicity within the team.
“The guys on the team always call me ‘maiden.’ It’s so patronizing — I’m a serious jouster,” Trot said.
According to Trot, a majority of the team members refused to shower in an attempt to replicate the conditions of medieval Europe, leading to difficult riding conditions.
“Maybe they should all try taking a bath as their next hazing ritual,” Trot said. Despite her disdain for the team, however, a “horse brothers 4lyfe” tattoo peaked out of the sleeve of her sweater.
The temporary ban comes on the hooves of another team scandal that occurred last month, when Shoremen jousting came under suspicion for embezzling funds from the equestrian club.
While they are financially supported by Washington College Athletics, select members were allegedly sent to join the equestrian club to join the executive board and steal funds for the jousting team.
Junior and vice president of the equestrian club Riley Murray was dismayed by the allegations. “The jousting team thinks they’re so much better than all of the other sports on campus just because they’re the official state sport of Maryland,” Murray said.
There is no word about what consequences Shoremen jousting members might face for their behavior, but some suggested that the team should commit to their Medieval origins through a public shaming on Cater Walk.
Anyone with information regarding shoremen jousting’s hazing rituals or embezzlement is encouraged to submit a tip to Public Safety; anyone with a desire to fight to the death on horseback is encouraged to call 410-77-HORSE.
Photo Caption; The WC Jousting team’s Jeremiah Saddle facing off against a Franklin and Marshal College jouster. No horses were injured.
Photo courtesy of WC Athletics
.