By Dauntless The Drab
Royal Tea Spiller
Washington College administration allegedly use the controversial Yik Yak app, launched in November 2018, to create strife between students and reduce night life on campus.
Yik Yak is an anonymous messaging app; users can post any message and other people are able to ‘upvote’ or ‘downvote’ it. The more upvotes it gets, the more attention it gets. The relatively old social media app made a comeback post quarantine in 2020 and has been used as a source of conversation on-campus.
Students took to the app to pose humorous questions, photos of Gus the Goose, and tell residents in their dorm building to quiet down if they were too loud. However, the app began to take a turn and was used to start drama.
Sophomore Martha Washington shared that she deleted the app after noticing the negative shift in messages.
“It used to be fun, but then someone made a comment about Taylor Swift not being a good artist…I almost lost it,” Washington said.
Deepthroat, an anonymous source with close ties to the College’s administration, shared the member’s plan to stifle night life on campus, increase trust with the Chestertown community, and make the college a favorable option to the parents of prospective students. This plan was devised during the team’s trip to Disneyland during the summer break of 2021.
“After we took photos with Mickey Mouse, we began thinking about social media apps that would be easy to use without revealing our identity, so we can see what students’ interests are and what would divide them,” said the source.
This whistleblower agreed to partner with The Morning Wood to investigate this story. They expressed remorse for causing beef between the student body.
Renowned expert on social media and psychology Louis L. Goldstein shared how division is the easiest way to reduce large gatherings.
“It’s the oldest trick in the book. If you can get students to feud on something, they won’t want to party with one another,” Goldstein said.
Public Safety decided to work with administration to conduct this task. Public Safety intern junior William Shakespeare discussed the frustration the office had with rowdy student behavior.
“Honestly, I do not blame them. Students can get crazy. I had a meeting with the rest of the Public Safety Team, and I said, ‘Bro, I’m down, the less work I have to do the better,” Shakespeare said.
Students may remember hearing conversations about blocking Yik Yak from campus Wi-Fi this semester. The unnamed source shared how the initiative was taken in an effort to cover administration’s tracks.
“Let’s be real, it’s a small campus. If you ask around enough, you may start to realize none of your friends are actually writing that stuff. The best thing to do was limit access to the app entirely,” said the source.
The Morning Wood reached out to administration and Public Safety to ask for further comment, though neither have responded. Students, however, are recovering from the tense environment. Couples’ therapists Homer and Marge Simpson will be coming to the College April 2 to lead students in a trust building exercise.
“We’re hoping to get them to hold hands and sing kumbaya. We want to remind them of the community they have here as the goose nation,” said the Simpsons.
WC’s own Deepthroat got an inside look at their rendezvous
Photo Caption: Administrators were allegedly in a silly goofy mood when they gathered to brainstormed new Yaks.