BY BBNO$
Yung Gravy’s best friend
Last October, many students were shocked to hear the news that parents were welcome to the annual fall dance on campus. Several parents showed up looking to potentially embarrass their students the the event.
The number of parents that would be in attendance begged one question regarding single mothers at the dance: “Where they at?”
In uncovering this, we can turn our hopes to none other than your mother’s, sister’s, and father’s favorite rapper Yung Gravy, also known as Matthew Hauri.
Gravy was seen at the dance talking to several single mothers at the event and even stealing some away from the function.
“I was just there trying to have fun with my mom, and then this random 6 foot 8 guy pulled up and rizzed up my mom. He told her he had a hot tub and it was game over from there. I dunno what happened,” Betty Pizzazz said.
Gravy got up to several antics at Shoremal, also incorrectly known as Homecoming, with many sources saying he was “steppin on the beat” and “always saucy.”
While he was unavailable for comment on the matter, several pictures have come to light of Gravy with the mothers of students, continuing to find single moms in all areas.
His ability to find a market and continue to make it a staple of his brand has been something Gravy continued in Chestertown, going bananas on and off the dancefloor.
“Man was singing, dancing, and whipping a Tesla through Chestertown, I have never seen anything like it,” third-year-senior Charlene Gassonova said, “I had a friend of mine come up and tell me that there was a party at his mama’s house after the event, hoping Gravy would pull through.”
Gravy enjoyed his time at WC, as rumors emerged that he made a fur coat to resemble the squirrels that could be found on campus, which could be a fashion statement for the rapper for years to come.
Time will tell if Gravy makes an appearance at next year’s Shoremal, or once again, incorrectly Homecoming, but if parents are invited again, students should be concerned about their moms having more fun than they will.
As for those whose mothers were rizzed up by the King of Charisma himself, the school is enrolling a support group soon.
The support group will be called “Nobody Understands This,” or NUT for short, and focus on rehabilitating the relationship of a twenty-something and their MILFs.
“How am I supposed to listen to Yung Gravy’s album, Baby Gravy 3, if he is going to be my stepfather?” An anonymous source only referred to as Mrs. Worldwide said.
Photo courtesy of TMZ
Photo Caption: Yung Gravy, also known as Matthew Hauri, can be seen with someone’s mother at last year’s Shoremal/Homecoming.