By Andie Anderson
The How-To Girl
In the past three years, I have embraced my role as the campus’ How-To Girl with open arms. The students at Washington College always need my help and continue to send in letters asking for advice.
I have not answered many letters recently, so here are a few responses to students’ pressing questions.
How to secure a summer internship
Judging from recent letters, many students are looking for advice on how to secure a summer internship. I guess we cannot all have a very helpful and successful advice column…sigh.
Anyway, I have some great recommendations to nail your internship interviews. To start, make sure you are wearing a very chic outfit. The more skin showing, the better! Interviewers love crop-tops and low-rise jeans.
If you engage in the latest fashion trends like fringe and “girlcore,” you will show the company that you are a very cool and stylish individual.
A key aspect to the interview is presentation. Along with abiding by the fashion trends, make sure to utilize modern slang, like “Slay,” “Period,” or even a combination of both words: “Sleriod.” The interviewer will be so impressed that they will basically hand you the position.
How to befriend the rabid squirrels on campus
Washington College is a beautiful campus full of luscious trees and historic statues of racists.
However, the College is also equipped with rabid squirrels that run rampant and terrorize students as they walk to and from class.
One student using the moniker “Alvin the Scared Chipmunk” sent in a letter asking for advice on how to befriend the squirrels — along with a gorgeous cover of the song “Witchdoctor.”
Alvin wrote, “Andie, I need your help. The other day when I was walking to my music class, I was nearly bitten by one of the squirrels on the Cater Walk. I want to forge a truce, but I do not know where to start.”
Alvin, I sympathize. Do you know how expensive rabies shots are? Even if the squirrels seem cute, they definitely look like their mouths are full of toothpaste foam.
To end this chipmunk-on-squirrel crime, I would recommend approaching the squirrel cautiously with some snacks. Sophie’s Cafe has plenty of options, and I heard the squirrels love Jolly Ranchers and Starbucks Cold Brew.
Providing your new squirrel girl with snacks will keep any argument — or future attack — at bay. And who knows, maybe this friendship will go from enemies, to friends, to lovers! Best of luck, Alvin.
How to talk about “the bathroom situation”
Even though we are halfway through the spring semester, some students living on campus may still be struggling with a bothersome roommate.
For example, one student using the name “Clean-up Crew” sent in the following letter looking for advice:
“Andie, my roommate refuses to clean up our bathroom. The whole room smells like doo-doo. I also think he uses my hand towel to wipe the toothpaste off his mouth.”
These concerns are definitely worth mentioning to your roommate, and I think the best way to go about this is to bring it up in front of everyone you know. Your other roommates, and even the people you do not live with, need to know about this awful bathroom situation!
If you discuss this problem in front of half the campus, your dirty roommate may finally get the hint. But, if he does not, invest in a good air freshener. I recommend the scent “Clean Sheets.” Maybe the smell will remind your roommate to make his bed, too.
If you want to receive future advice from the How-To Girl (that’s me!), make sure to send queries to aanderson2@washcoll.edu. I am looking forward to helping any and all students with their concerns, no matter how strange.