By Charles Entertainment Cheese
Chestertown is known for its trailblazing abilities and already boasts a vast collection of “firsts”: housing the first college chartered in the newly established United States, being part of the first county on the Eastern Shore, and always being the first to shut down its main street anytime the town can make up a reason.
Now, an equally historically impactful decision is being made about how to approach the abandoned 98 Cannon riverfront Grille located on Cannon Street. Coverage from The Nut regarding the movement to revolutionize this space is much appreciated, as many in the Chestertown and Washington College integrated community believe that the world’s first Chuck E. Cheese Casino is just what the locale needs.
Coming out of the dark days of an isolating pandemic, many incoming WC students and Chestertown’s young adult population alike are desperately searching for ways to fulfill their lost childhood years. Those who are 18 years old now were just tweens when COVID-19 forced them indoors. This generation may never know the joys of munching on paper-thin pizza while being subconsciously aware that they are too old to be in this environment and experiencing the existential dread of growing out of their childlike wonder.
This is why more than a mundane Chuck E. Cheese is needed. This is not your grandma’s Chuck E. Cheese, this is a Chuck E. Cheese Casino. Fully equipped with all the modern favorites — Go Fish, Fortnite, and virtual pickleball — as well as classic casino games, this concept is far from outdated. The variety of attractions means that everyone in Chestertown will find a safe space in the new Chuck E. Cheese Casino. Folks can also look forward to a rebrand of the animatronic Chuck E. Cheese band. Plans to replace the ugly and sometimes scary animatronics with real taxidermied animals, including a quartet of squirrels, are underway.
“The Chuck E. Cheese Casino would have a lasting impact on the mental health of the Chestertown community,” Joe Shmoe, who recently completed his court-ordered four-week course on anger management, said. “It is my professional opinion that Chuck E. Cheese does not need Chestertown, Chestertown needs Chuck E. Cheese.”
Downtown is a bustling area, with so much potential for benefiting Chestertown. Having an abandoned business take up this space is irresponsible and cruel. Hosting the world’s first-ever Chuck E. Cheese Casino would be doing a service to Chestertown and its inhabitants for generations to come.