By Catch These Hands
Squirrel Rights Activist
Most students are familiar with the ominous feeling of descending into a suspicious underearth after walking down the cement staircase and approaching the heavy, windowless door to the Public Safety office, marked by the dim red light and warning signs to knock before entering.
According to recent evidence and testimony (from sources who have chosen to stay anonymous while legal action remains underway), there is a reason Public Safety officials have not advocated for a more central location than the secluded basement of Cullen Hall.
Suspicions about Public Safety’s capture of campus squirrels first arose when a group of students returning to the freshman dorms after a trek to the Royal Farms on High Street in early March reported sounds of loud squeaking and scritch-scratching coming from inside of Cullen.
One freshman spoke of the visual and auditory signs of squirrel captivity, citing “tiny boxing gloves” surrounding the Public Safety entrance and a loud “chittering” sound, audible from the sidewalk along Washington Avenue.
Coming forth in light of gossip surrounding the subject, a local community member — who collects scrap metal for repurposed art — shared that she recently picked a medium-sized animal trap, a severely damaged wire cage, and numerous pairs of what appeared to be miniature handcuffs from the dumpster closest to the Public Safety office.
“I thought at first that they were broken necklaces with ring-like pendants,” she said. “I realized quickly, though, that they locked to one another, like handcuffs, but little ones for like rats or bunnies or something. I was kind of confused and scared, like, ‘Who is using these, and on what?’”
The trash evidence became more substantial when a member of the housekeeping staff at the College reported that while removing papers from a trash can in the PS office to transfer them to a recycling bin, she noticed that the stack contained numerous unopened letters addressed to Director of Public Safety Chief Ryan Colman.
“I didn’t mean to snoop around, there was just a very clear pile laid on top of the overflowing can next to Chief Colman’s desk and I was going to recycle it because I really care about the environment,” she said. “I couldn’t help but notice that all of the papers were unopened letters, and all of them said PETA on the front.”
While the janitorial staff member proceeded to put the evidence in the recycling bin, and while Chief Colman denied having received or disposed of any such letters, the animal rights organization now formally investigating the College recovered the documents from the local recycling facility.
In addition to fingerprinting the letters and finding that Colman had indeed disposed of them, more insight into the allegations was gained from the contents of the letters, which were opened by activists with a warrant of investigation.
The recovered PETA letters revealed that while various online reports were made by students on campus (who submitted their concerns through the animal rights website out of uncertainty over who to contact when Public Safety was not an option), the bulk of reports made to PETA came from sources across the country. Internet users and small-rodent advocates from places far beyond Chestertown reported concerns over a squirrel fighting ring due to content they saw on YouTube.
The channel, which was banned by the platform early last week, was found to be affiliated with the WC Public Safety email address, from which address PETA found the Cullen office and began sending physical mail complaints.
“Ring Rodents,” as revealed by the letters, featured videos of squirrels wearing vibrant costumes and boxing one another in a small arena. While it remained possible at first for officers to deny filming the content due to the ambiguous setting of the fights in the videos, the recently deleted files of all officers whose devices were confiscated contained content related to squirrel fighting.
Patrol Corporal and Community Engagement Officer James Wilson was noticed one morning early in February by residents of Kent House sitting on a bench behind Cullen, engaged in what appeared to be the hand-stitching of tiny numbers on the back of miniature clothing items.
“He had a basket filled with all of these colorful little shirts with numbers, like uniforms for dolls, or like the little hoodie Alvin wears [in the Alvin and the Chipmunks films],” the Kent Resident, who was not yet aware of the implications of Public Safety having rodent-sized clothing, said.
While the entire Public Safety team is still under investigation by animal rights groups and local authorities, more information about the consequences is expected to come in the following weeks.
Knowing that squirrels are being mistreated on campus has struck a chord with students who feel strongly about the rights and virtues of the beloved rat of the trees. Various students spoke out on the importance of squirrels’ rights.
“Honestly I think squirrels are an underappreciated species just because, like, if we gave them the same attention and care we give dogs, they could be so much better,” one freshman said.
For one sophomore, proper care for squirrels has a personal resonance. “I used to have a pet squirrel named Fletch when I was a child, and so knowing that they treat the squirrels this way really upsets me deeply, to my core, and I just wish we could trust our Public Safety officers to care for the squirrels too.”
The current situation reminds us that one should not make ethically concerning videos for internet popularity, and that squirrels — especially those of the WC campus family — are sentient beings with natural rights. They should be left in their environment or else captured to be domesticated and kept as well-pampered dorm pets, not feral ring fighters