By Your Mother
Talbot Corectional Troll & Part-Time Misandrist
The Quad is going to be seeing changes to the dynamic of its third, lesser-known building, Talbot House, as it transforms from a dorm to a jail for men in the upcoming 2024-2025 school year.
Due to the behavior exhibited by the male population of the College as of late, it was deemed necessary that a jail be placed right on campus to make for easy transportation of the guilty into custody.
The changing role of this location on campus is due to sentiments shared by many on campus, such as senior Rae Merson.
“We really need to get these guys into gear, get them under control,” Merson said.
Many buildings were considered for this project, such as the basement located underneath Health Services and between Caroline and Queen Anne Houses, since many of the windows already have bars. Due to the large number of renovations that would have needed to be done, the location was scrapped.
Ultimately, Talbot House was chosen as the prison’s location due to a few factors that made the building the perfect place for this new project.
The building currently stands near Public Safety. While the office itself is currently located in Cullen Hall, the designated PS parking spots are right outside of the building, meaning that they are frequently close to the building should there be any jailbreaks.
Additionally, Talbot House is already located in a male-dominated part of campus. The Quad is home to Cecil and Dorchester Houses, where the two fraternities on campus, Phi Delta Theta and Kappa Sigma, live.
Since the fraternities already hold space in these two buildings, it just feels right to put another male-based space on campus into Talbot — the new prison for the male population of the College.
The building, already being overrun by squirrels, will have the furry friends as prison guards to keep the men in check.
According to the Residential Life webpage, Talbot was once home to the now-disbanded Kappa Alpha chapter, meaning it is safe to assume that the building itself is no stranger to testosterone and can handle the amount that would come with its new use.
In addition to the locational factors, the building was chosen due to the layout. It is already split up into smaller rooms that can easily be converted into cells. Also, the building contains many communal spaces for potential rehabilitation programs for the jail’s inhabitants.
Sophomore Jocelyn Aquilino has been to Talbot a few times to visit friends. “I personally think it is musty, kind of scary, not comfy — perfect for a jail for men,” Aquilino said.
While Merson has not experienced Talbot themselves, their roommate has relayed many stories of the building.
“I have a roommate who once lived [in Talbot],” Merson said. “According to her it is haunted and filled with spiders…I think that it should probably be a free-for-all, the men versus the spiders.”
Senior Natalie Wisnoski lived in Talbot before the NCAA Championships for rowing in the spring of 2023. She did not enjoy her stay but felt it would work well as the new site for the WC men’s prison.
“It’s really perfect,” Wisnoski said. “I think that’s where men belong. Talbot really is kind of just their safe space.”
Elm Archive Photo
Photo Caption: Talbot House, located in the Quad, will now hold any males on campus who need to be put in time out.