Multiple loose dorm cat sightings on campus over recent spring break  

By The Pickle Wizard  Cat Chaos Watcher  At the start of spring break, there were multiple sightings…

Unstoppable Blattodea uprising broke out of Cain, stole golf cart for WC takeover 

By Cocky Roach  Underground Division  Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an “infestation.” It is not…

Global prestige for Goose Nation: Chestertown to host 2028 Olympics 

By I. N. Cognito  Hogwash Peddler   The International Olympic Committee (IOC) caused a stir on the world…

Gus the Goose dies of bird flu, retired mascot Sweet Lips takes his place 

By Miss Information  Fighter of Anti-vaxxers   The beloved Washington College mascot Gus the Goose tragically lost his…

WC announces new football program among slew of sports coming to campus next year 

By A. Nonymous  ChatGPT_User  On Feb. 30, the Washington College Athletics Department announced a number of novel sports programs set to debut during the 2026 fall…

WC teams return from Florida trip with friendly alligator mascot in tow 

By Amelia Bickel   Local Alligatoraphobe  Washington College’s baseball, softball, tennis, and women’s lacrosse teams all travelled to…

Weighted stuffed animals sneak out of dorms to build Wawa for Mocha Mint Woffee 

By Hoagie Wooder  Wawa Enthusiast, Fearer of Toys  It started innocuously enough. Students returning to their…

Crows foretell “impending doom” for Washington College  

By The Summoned   Witchcraft and Dark Magic Correspondent   In what witnesses are calling an “unsettling but…

Event Calendar: Coming Up in Chestertown and on Campus this April  

By Jacquesing Withyew  Unreliable Narrator   Friday, April 3: Senior All-Majors Crash-Out Awareness at 11:59 p.m. in Smith Hall  All seniors are invited to bring their favorite self-pitying poems to commiserate with fellow…

Mandy is the cause of cold weather in Chestertown, she must be stopped 

By A Friend of Gus the Goose  Avid MasEnthusiast  There are some campus mysteries that feel harmless at first. A…