By The Pickle Wizard
Cat Chaos Watcher
At the start of spring break, there were multiple sightings of escaped dorm cats around campus. These feline friends were spotted taking much needed zoomies in different campus buildings and lounging around in the campus garden while students were busy leaving campus for the week.
Some of the local cat population was prepared to take over the Washington College campus and make use of some of the amenities and buildings while students were away.
Spring break meant the perfect opportunity for less people to be around and less of a percentage for these cozy critters to hopefully not be spotted.
“I came back from the AWP conference and found my dorm cat, Kafka, perched on top of George Washington’s head outside of Hodson,” junior Sarabeth Metzger recalled.
Metzger was prepared to have a nice evening after returning from a busy conference, but she came back to campus to find it swarmed with cats moving around as if all of campus were a private home. Metzger spotted multiple cats running on Cater Walk, and noted that the cats started to take over the Hill Dorms first.
Metzger was not the only person on campus who watched the madness unfold.
While checking the rooms throughout the Miller Library before closing for break, Director of Archives and Technical Services Lindsay Sheldon spotted two cats reading in the rare books collection in the Sophie Kerr room.
“The two cats, Worthless and Useless, were curling up on top of the rare books in the bookcase,” Sheldon said.
Sheldon recalls how fluffy and cute the cats looked, but she was very worried about the state of some of the rare books under the cats. After a couple of hours, she was able to work with Public Safety to safely place the cats in a temporary shelter.
The cats were not happy though, as they deeply enjoyed the quiet space and loved to read about Sophie Kerr’s inspirational life. One of the special collections in the library holds history all about Sophie Kerr.
After returning back to campus over the past week, The Elm has gained access to exclusive interviews with some of the cats mentioned above.
Kafka is a tabby cat and enjoys literature as much as Worthless and Useless do too. He is an aspiring office worker, as seen through some of his pictures on Instagram.
“Meow meow meow meowmanship, meowmie,” Mr. Kafka said.
A translator specializing in cat language has translated what this sleepy cat has to say: “I am a good cat, and I have a great relationship with my meowmie.”
Meanwhile, Worthless and Useless were spotted over at the campus garden this week paying tribute to one of the chickens who [not a joke] was taken by a large bird of prey.
“Meowww, meow meow meow meowness,” Worthless said with very sad eyes.
Translation: “The animal community on campus are in deep sadness right now after the loss of a campus chicken.”
Useless, in agreement with his twin tuxedo brother, said that it is a tragedy and we must protect the other chickens. When asked about their recent forbidden visit to the rare books collection without permission from the library staff, these two cats started to bolt away from the interviewer.
If you or anyone you know on campus have spotted a concerning scene regarding cats causing ruckus, do not hesitate to contact appropriate safety departments about this concerning matter. This story is still being investigated to make sure dorm cats are not causing any more of a strain on parts of our campus.
Photo Caption: Cats take over campus! Watch out for ruckus and mayhem and cat-astrophe!
Photo by Lady Ella the Small