By Donkey Not a Recruiter Recently many students have gathered in the night on the campus…
Category: April Fool’s
Articles published for the annual April Fool’s issue.
New Muppets’ “Knives Out” movie stalled due to controversial cast
By: Daye Forman The Elm’s Favorite Gossip Columnist Fans of the Muppets are on the edge of…
New squirrel band releases hit new album
By Sciurus Carolinensis Squirrel Enthusiast A new band on campus has recently released their debut album.…
Gus the Goose dies of bird flu, retired mascot Sweet Lips takes his place
By Miss Information Fighter of Anti-vaxxers The beloved Washington College mascot Gus the Goose tragically lost his…
Multiple loose dorm cat sightings on campus over recent spring break
By The Pickle Wizard Cat Chaos Watcher At the start of spring break, there were multiple sightings…
Event Calendar: Coming Up in Chestertown and on Campus this April
By Jacquesing Withyew Unreliable Narrator Friday, April 3: Senior All-Majors Crash-Out Awareness at 11:59 p.m. in Smith Hall All seniors are invited to bring their favorite self-pitying poems to commiserate with fellow…
Crows foretell “impending doom” for Washington College
By The Summoned Witchcraft and Dark Magic Correspondent In what witnesses are calling an “unsettling but…
Unstoppable Blattodea uprising broke out of Cain, stole golf cart for WC takeover
By Cocky Roach Underground Division Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an “infestation.” It is not…
Mandy is the cause of cold weather in Chestertown, she must be stopped
By A Friend of Gus the Goose Avid MasEnthusiast There are some campus mysteries that feel harmless at first. A…
Weighted stuffed animals sneak out of dorms to build Wawa for Mocha Mint Woffee
By Hoagie Wooder Wawa Enthusiast, Fearer of Toys It started innocuously enough. Students returning to their…