Glow Stick mandate: WATCH OUT

By Really Really Not the ADA Chair Big Fan of Glow Sticks Due to the recent…

Marvel Cinematic Universe goes bankrupt, Martin Scorcese thought to be at fault

By The Wolf Of Wall Street The Marvel Cinematic Universe officially ran out of money, according…

English department funds reallocated to solve Goldstein sewer issue

By Chief Charmin Professional Defecator Several times this year, flooding occurred in Louis L. Goldstein Hall…

Gus the Goose’s daughter, GooseGoose Honkdid, accused of nepotism after promotion

By Big Bird Sesame Street Resident Last week, President of the College Dr. Mike Sosulski officially…

Blades replace the speed bumps at Western Shore

By [REDACTED] Alleged “Editor” In 2022, Washington College received negative feedback from students due to the…

The “Dogs Out” movement: How bare feet were revolutionized at WC

By George Costanza Former Hand Model This spring, Washington College students are embracing one of the…

Massive PANTS discovery made

By Elijah Wood Local Man with Hairy Feet At the Particle Accellerator of New Texas State,…

THE MASTERLIST: A ranked list of lists published in the lifestyle section

By Emmett and Wyldstyle Stars of “The Lego Movie” The Morning Wood’s lifestyle section loves a…

The big reveal: Dr. Sosulski is seven Busters in a trench coat

By Jane Eyre Crazy Bitch Those on Washington College’s campus have recently noted the strange behavior…

FREE OJ!!!!” Students protest the persistent lack of orange juice in dining hall

By Anonymous Unknown Recently, students in Hodson Hall took action to fight the newest injustice plaguing…