The “Dogs Out” movement: How bare feet were revolutionized at WC

By George Costanza Former Hand Model This spring, Washington College students are embracing one of the…

Massive PANTS discovery made

By Elijah Wood Local Man with Hairy Feet At the Particle Accellerator of New Texas State,…

THE MASTERLIST: A ranked list of lists published in the lifestyle section

By Emmett and Wyldstyle Stars of “The Lego Movie” The Morning Wood’s lifestyle section loves a…

The big reveal: Dr. Sosulski is seven Busters in a trench coat

By Jane Eyre Crazy Bitch Those on Washington College’s campus have recently noted the strange behavior…

FREE OJ!!!!” Students protest the persistent lack of orange juice in dining hall

By Anonymous Unknown Recently, students in Hodson Hall took action to fight the newest injustice plaguing…

College is set to replace “inaccessible brick” walkways with slip ‘n’ slides

By Totally Not the ADA Chair Water Slide Connoisseur Amidst the recent complaints of lack of…

CES Presents: Sisimito: True or Real, A Short Film and Speaker Panel with Experts

April Fool’s Issue: Weekly Driftwood

Inaugural WC Hype House encourages its tenants to “bust it down”

By Obi Megwan Kenobi Public Relations Consultant for the Jedi Order Move over Charli D’amelio, TikTok…

Chestertown offers post-COVID-19 classes to teach residents how to be human again

By Goose II: The Reckoning   Professional Human  (Not a bunch of geese in a trench coat) …